I am proudly genderqueer, entirely comfortable with my pansexuality, and what I like to call 'naturally' submissive. There may be a lot I haven't done in life sexually, but there's not a lot I wouldn't try, given the opportunity. With no social or religious hangups to restrain me, I am as open to the idea of pleasure, in all its forms, as a human being can possibly be.
Despite that, I still find a great deal of pleasure in stories of forced sexual acts and reluctant participants.
So why is it I still find so much pleasure in the fantasy of being forced?
If you're expecting some mind-blowing revelation, or clinical diagnosis, then I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. The fact of the matter is, I don't know . . . and I'm not sure I really care to know. It may have something to do with being naturally submissive, or it may have something to do with some lingering subconscious taboo of my youth.
As I've been looking over my old fiction, pulling some favourites together to publish a collection, it struck me just how much of my fiction deals with themes of being forced. Lately, my work has focused more on themes of being a slut, of being openly promiscuous and perverse, but the appeal of being forced is definitely still there.
I want to be forced - could there possibly be a more exciting contradiction?