Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A stick(l)er for gender rebellion . . .

So, the powers that be (those powers being a bunch of stuffed suits from overseas) have decided that a crackdown on personal expression is the best way to address the current office morale problem.

Hmm.

We work in a company that has fired or laid off half its staff in the past two years, and which has not turned a profit in over three years. Employees have not even seen a cost of living increase in four years, much less a performance increase, and expenses that used to considered 'reasonable' are being denied across the board. The only things filthier than the heating ducts above are the carpets below, and the only things emptier than our pockets are the dusty cubicles that stretch into the distance.

So, with all of that to take into consideration, I can totally see how a crackdown on personal expression will magically make things better.

Step one in the stuff suits master scheme is to not just ban, but actually confiscate and destroy any 'personal' notebooks. After all, can't have all our trade secrets behind losing money walking home with employees who don't have money to lose! Instead, we were all issued one (1) plain, black, hardbound, undated, daily planner. It's a very nice, very boring planner, with one page per day, perfect for hiding in a drawer until you really need it. Just to ensure we don't suddenly break out into an orgy of non-conformity, it was made very clear to us that the outside is to remain clean of any stickers, markings, tape, or decoration of any kind.


They never said anything about the inside.


Is it childish and petty of me to fill the front cover with Monster High stickers? Probably. Is it silly and pointless of me to fill the back cover with My Little Pony stickers? Almost certainly. Does doing both make me feel a whole lot better, and make me giggle with glee at the prospect of 'accidentally' allowing the planner to fall open on my desk? Absolutely.


Worst case scenario, somebody will notice, somebody will complain, it will be confiscated and destroyed, and I'll be forced to pay for a replacement. Go ahead . . . I still have a lot of sheets of stickers left, and I always welcome the opportunity to express my creativity!

Oh, for those of you who are concerned about the fate of the very lovely Michel Tcherevkoff, I smuggled my Purses, Petals & Pumps daily planner out of the office last night. It may not be there to brighten my mornings, but at least I can still enjoy his breathtaking creations when I get home at night.

♂↔♀

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